Interestingly enough, there are also locations where it is more difficult to book on weekdays. “The older private members clubs in London don’t like to book a wedding on a weekday, they prefer a weekend, and the big hotels run conferences during the week, which allows them to make more money.”
Niemierko says that while there are often big savings to be had at the venue by choosing a weekday, most other wedding suppliers, from catering to flowers to photographers, will charge similar amounts no matter what day you get married. “But you do have more choice, because the best bands and florists are often fully booked on weekends years in advance,” he says. “Even if you go out of season, you can get great offers; For example, no one gets married in January.”
And the on-site savings can be enormous. At Elmore Court, a stately home in Gloucester, and one of Britain’s most Instagrammed wedding venues of 2023, the rental price is £15,000 for a summer Saturday, dropping to just £6,500 for a Thursday in February, March or November. If you want to save money, Niemierko says to avoid December (“You’re competing against corporate bookings”) and bank holidays (“You’re competing against tourism”).
Zoe Burke, wedding expert and editor at hitched.co.uk, says it is not unusual for couples to save £10,000 on their wedding venue simply by opting for off-peak, midweek dates. “Many venues are half price if booked Monday to Thursday,” she says. “I don’t know anyone at the moment who doesn’t want to save money, so I would urge ‘almost married people’ to think about off-peak options if their wedding budget seems tight.”
Chloe Nelson, the wedding and sales coordinator at Wellington Barn in Wiltshire, says that although most couples initially inquire about that ‘ideal Saturday wedding’, they change their minds when they realize the savings and availability they offer. For many locations, Thursday has become the new Saturday. “There is significant demand for Thursday dates, so much so that we will no longer have Thursdays available from April to October in 2024 and in 2023 we have completed 27 Thursday weddings,” she says.
But while a midweek wedding may be cheaper and less stressful to organize for the bride and groom, it can put an extra burden on the guests. “I had a wedding in Wales on Thursday and it took me a lot of joy,” says Jess, 34, a marketing manager from Surrey. “It was tough going there after work on Wednesday and then traveling home with a hangover while trying to work remotely on Friday. I really appreciate that some people are on a budget, but this was a pretty extravagant wedding so it left a bad taste in my mouth. Yes, I could have taken three days off from work, but annual vacation is so precious. I feel like a midweek wedding is a big ask and actually quite selfish. I would much rather go to a quiet wedding on a weekend.”
Meanwhile, Samantha Earl, 46, a writer from London, says she loves a midweek wedding. “I went there a few months ago and it really separates the wheat from the chaff because you know everyone really wants to be there, so the atmosphere is great,” she says. “Normally everyone has a wedding on Saturday, so it almost feels rebellious and naughty to party during the week. But my husband is a teacher, so he hates them because he can never take a day off from work.”
So what is the etiquette for attending a midweek wedding? Can you refuse outright because of the day of the week? Is it frowned upon to check your emails during a dull moment between speeches? Can you leave halfway to pick up the kids from school and take them to the party?
“Couples planning a midweek wedding should keep in mind that there will be many guests who will find it difficult, if not impossible, to attend,” says Liz Wyse, a wedding etiquette expert at Debrett’s. “They have to prepare for a certain percentage of their guests to refuse. I would advise these couples to think about who it is crucial for them to be there and perhaps even check with those people before booking how feasible that day is for them. It is also very important to give as much notice as possible.”
For guests, Wyse says it’s absolutely not necessary to bring your laptop to a weekend wedding, but you can get away with it during a midweek wedding if you do it discreetly and discuss it with the host first. “Good etiquette is all about communication,” she says. “So I think it’s okay for a guest to sign up and write a little note explaining that you have an important meeting at 3pm that you need to do, or you need to arrive late or leave early to make it work for you. And I think it behooves the hosts to accommodate these requests.”
In the meantime, Niemierko thinks it’s best not to ask the bride and groom if you need to step away for 20 minutes to respond to emails at a wedding on Monday. “But I think if you find yourself working at a friend’s wedding, you really have to question your life choices,” he adds.
Sian says she has attended several midweek weddings since her own Wednesday wedding. “I love them and because I’m self-employed I can just divide my workload to make it work,” she says. She even has her sister’s wedding coming up, which will take place on Tuesday. “Maybe she was inspired by me, but honestly I think it was more about the cost,” she says.