‘I had four days off after the birth of my son – I was robbed of precious moments’

A new father asks for longer statutory paternity leave after missing time spent with his son.

Jake Holyoak, 30, wishes he could have afforded to take more leave after the birth of his first child, Freddie, in March 2023. The freelance PR manager was working for a marketing company when his wife Natasha, 29, became pregnant In 2022, he was offered the national standard paternity leave of two weeks’ pay.

His leave started the day Natasha went into labour, and after birth complications – including a terrifying diagnosis of sepsis – the NHS worker was forced to undergo a caesarean section. The couple spent six days in hospital before returning home with Freddie, who weighed 9lb 12oz, and Jake only had four days left.

Speaking to the Mirror about the traumatic time, Jake said: “My wife really needed my help more than ever after sepsis and her caesarean section. But I was back at work and I was feeling really down because I couldn’t spend much time with her. Freddie, fifteen months later, I’m still very angry and sad about it.”

The father of one is not alone in his experience. According to new research, half of fathers will take just two weeks off work to spend with their newborn children and three-quarters of fathers would like to take 12 weeks. New data from insurer Zurich UK shows that a third of fathers are choosing to take annual leave to spend extra time bonding.

Of those who didn’t need the time at all, seven in ten couldn’t afford it. Financial concerns were the main reason for Jake’s decision to immediately return to work. “I couldn’t afford to take unpaid leave and I don’t think you should have to sacrifice your wages to spend time with your newborn,” Jake said. “I chose to take my annual leave a little later, when Freddie was six weeks old.”

Deciding when to use his vacation was a difficult decision, but like 12 percent of fathers in the 2023 survey, Jake felt that taking extended paternity leave could impact his career development. “I think it’s sad that as a father you are only entitled to two weeks with your child and the expectation is that you immediately go back to work,” he explained.

“The first week of having a baby is manic and all about sleep, then you start to bond and enjoy the little moments – but by then I was back to work,” said Jake. “We both had well-paying jobs, but I couldn’t justify an extended period of leave. You never know how expensive life will be as a new parent.”

After Natasha’s C-section, Jake felt “lucky” to be able to work from home to support her and help around the house. “If I had an office job, I don’t know how we would have managed,” he said. But despite being under the same roof, Jake was busy and couldn’t be in the newborn bubble with his family.

Jake, who has chosen not to name his previous employer, explained that he doesn’t blame the company, but society’s attitude towards paternity leave and standard pay. ‘I only had four days off. Natasha got a year off,” he said. Statutory maternity leave for mothers in Great Britain is 52 weeks, of which a maximum of 39 weeks is paid.

“I completely agree that women should have longer, but even a month of paternity leave would have been better,” Jake said. “In those first few weeks you discover something new every day. I missed it because I wasn’t there. Natasha came home from my mother or her and told me stories. I wasn’t there to experience it.”

Jake said he “just wanted more time” with Freddie and found it difficult to see some of his friends who worked in the banking industry having five months of paternity leave while he only had two weeks. “I think it’s unfair that different companies and sectors offer more. How could I have less than five days while my friends had five months?” he said.

If Jake and Natasha have more children together, he is convinced they will do things differently. “When you have a baby you realize what you want from work. It’s not free pizza on Fridays, it’s flexible hours, paternity leave and private healthcare,” he said. ‘I would now take a pay cut to work in a company with better paternity policies.

“When we were planning to start a family, we didn’t think about our workplace and we didn’t leave. Now it almost seems backward not to think about the policies of your work first.” The father-of-one added: “I am calling for statutory leave to be increased to four weeks and for companies to be more transparent about their policies.”

Have you missed your child’s first moments? Please contact us. Email nia.dalton@reachplc.com.